If we have a good relationship you will be moved if I touch you.
If I’m gentle, you will respond in kind.
If I’m rough with you I expect you to be rough too.

What am I talking about?

It’s no secret that I’m a Google fan. I have a Google laptop, a Google tablet and a Google phone. I live happily in a Google ecosystem with Google apps that rarely let me down.

Gmail works well for me. So do Google’s Maps and their video service YouTube. Google Calendar keeps me from missing events. All in all I’m a happy little Googler. Google Chrome on my PC and my Chromebook serve me well.

But what should possibly be the crowning glory of our relationship has failed me too many times. Yes, I’m talking about Chrome for Android. I’ve been with her since I met her.

I like that she knows my needs, and usually serves up just what I’m after when I ask. She knows how to communicate with my other friends (my apps) and helps me to achieve my goals.

But lately, it’s like she’s stuck. I try to prod her gently, but she moves so slowly.

I won’t strain this metaphor any further: Chrome for Android is laggy. There I said it. It’s stuttery and not buttery. It sometimes won’t move at all.

We demand responsiveness from our gadgets like we do from our vehicles. If I press the accelerator pedal with my foot, I expect instant movement. If not I will call the service centre and get it looked at.

Stuttery and not buttery

So I’ve called it quits with Chrome for Android. For now. I put up with this for a while and probably would have continued to be patient in this relationship but… you guessed it, I met someone else. It was a chance encounter.

Her name is Dolphin. She’s so in tune with me. When I touch her the response is instant and she can really move! I’ve uninstalled Chrome for Android from my phone and tablet – Dolphin has taken her place. Maybe Chrome and I will get back together again one day.

If you’ve experienced the same, I suggest giving Dolphin a try. Firefox is pretty good too, but I prefer the tabs in Dolphin, because they’re much more like a desktop browser.

I believe Google needs to act quickly and decisively. If you have at least a dual core phone or tablet running Jelly Bean, you have the right to expect responsiveness. Project Butter is a reality right across the Google apps and system user experience of my Nexus phone and tablet. Google’s own browser should be no different.

We know you can do it, Google. Give us faithful fans something to be proud of. Then we geeks will continue to promote what we know and love. Because right now, we’re just a little bit embarrassed… I guess you are too?

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Do you share Geoff’s feelings about Chrome for Android? Let us know in the comments!